the road I came so far

look back my history
the history that I do not usually look back
remember the old days
the days that will never come back
think about all the friends that I lost
the friends that I wanted to talk more

there was a time that I was in a group
there was a time that I was liked by others
there was a time that I was actually myself
there was a time that I was not just "her boyfriend"

what did I do wrong?
what did I miss?

while my old friends still hang out
I hang out with my new "friends"
















but don't you worry
there is someone who is willing to be with you

i dont like this....at all

after that, i am so sensitive about "cheating"
or "switching lover easily"
we see that in movie often
these days, those piss me off
also at the party
when a guy/girl is flirting with one person and if i see him/her later with other person, i hate it
i hate the person who was flirting so much
dont want to see
dont want to talk


we should not hide anything from lover
i, a guy who annoyes the lover often, may be stupid and little different from ideal guy for her but never lie to her


she always says that i can not comfort her
whenever i fail to cheer her up, i feel like killing myself
because this is the starting point of all the bad things
starting point of her relationship


often, i envy her
envy her that she have somebody to talk to
i dont
i know my friends cannot comfort me
only my girlfriend can


i need her
she dont need me






:::holding on to my bracelets and wishing that i can cheer her up:::

cycle

not a cycle its a helix